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What Is Your Superpower?
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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Human nature

Word count/read time: 486 words; 2 minutes

There are so many to pick from! The ultimate would be to pick the superpower you wanted at will. Regardless, human nature ensures most of us will think selfishly. I suggest defining categories that describe the terms and usage of said superpower.
  • Self-serving - I'm not going to argue that the power to kill or harm by thought is bad. An egotistical arrogant prick has no moral compass and it would be very bad in their hands. Like all tools, in the hands of a "good" person humanity could greatly benefit.
  • Self-serving that can't harm another - Making a "pot o' gold" at the end of a rainbow is a prime objective numero for many. Surround themselves with money, things, and creature comforts.
  • One that could never benefit you directly - This includes deriving benefit from the use, i.e. you can't make a pile of gold appear for your wife, friend, or anything like that. This is 100% Mother Theresa going on.
  • One that could only benefit mankind as a whole - World peace; stop violence against man, flora, and fauna. This list would include things any normal, well-balanced, and mentally stable human would desire.


Put aside the fantasy for a moment and think what superpower you actually have, i.e. what you do best and how that would translate into a superpower? Perhaps you paint - maybe it's churning out those masterpieces in minutes instead of months. Or a sports' enthusiast (not an armchair quarterback but someone who actually exerts themselves)...what a thrill to be the fastest or strongest!

 
Money for complaining...now that's my kind of work!
 
How would any of this change if a condition of your superpower was to tell no one, show no overt signs of it, basically keep it hidden? It might be difficult to launder limitless riches without raising suspicion. Could you live within your "means" with a cool billion in stashed cash or would you run the gamut of the latest toys and expose yourself?

I struggled with determining my existing superpower. I find flaws, the breaks, the incongruencies of a process, part, or ideology. I would be the ultimate secret shopper, the best customer you can have. Conversely, don't be on the wrong side.

When dishonesty or something similar comes into the equation then all hell breaks loose. I will bitch incessantly. It can be a curse or a blessing depending on my mood. Thus, it ends in glory with freebies or spirals into an abyss with F-bombs dropped everywhere. Some enterprising individuals professionally complain for others and get a percentage of whatever is doled out. Money for complaining...now that's my kind of work!

Compassionate complaining is the hardest skill to master as a customer and often results in free products or services. Even if there is no problem, sometimes just asking if there is a promo for first-time buyers or any coupons/discounts is enough to get some money coming back to you.


Posted by M: December 19, 2021


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