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The Earth Is Flat
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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Human nature

Word count/read time: 447 words; 2 minutes

I asked my girlfriend if it was possible. How can millions of people "around the globe" as the Flat Earth Society's homepage says, believe something that's not true? As one flat earther said, "Why would I endure ridicule from my friends and co-workers by believing it?" Good point.

Per them, gravity is created because we are accelerating through space as we have been for some 4.5 billion years. Flatters have the mathematical equation that proves it. Of course, you have to simultaneously ignore a key mathematical truth for if to be plausible. Basic math proves the equation is impossible but flatters' math is entirely different.

The shortest distance between two points on a flat surface is a straight line. Then why is it quicker to fly over the north pole for many destinations instead of following a line parallel to the equator? It's only possible when said object is a sphere. Basic math proves it. There are numerous third-grade level science experiments that disprove the flat earth theory, and sixth-grade ones, matter your education there's an experiment for everyone!

Which brings up the topic of conspiracies. Flatters know that "everyone else" is in on the scam: governments, space agencies, airlines, militaries, the education system, and MOTHER NATURE herself! The one burning question, however, is why Earth is the only flat planet discovered to date?!

Maybe these flatters are alien invaders who are treating humanity as one big reality TV show.
Everyone needs their moment in the sun. To feel important, like they have knowledge that no one else does, that they are special. Maybe even special enough to be the first to climb over the huge ice wall at the edge of our flat planet and fall off? I dunno.

Their belief system is molded by their religion, distrust in science, or the like. Their inherent lack of mental acuity, common sense, and cognitive maturity ensures that any expert is another hoaxer. Beliefs cannot be "disproved." Any challenge or argument to the contrary backfires.

Nature isn't perfect and drugs can't fix every problem. There will always be a few people lacking this or that. With no shortage of blindingly ignorant earthlings, is this group a good a place to practice population reduction techniques? I'm not saying brainwash them to the 2 + 2 = 5 degree but let's be real!

Perhaps there is a bigger conspiracy. Maybe these flatters are alien invaders who are treating humanity as one big reality TV show. They plant the most ludicrous thoughts and ideas - all too easy with social media - and take bets on how many will bite. Superior beings are toying with us for their amusement, greed, or satisfaction much like humans already do with every living entity on this planet. The irony.

Posted by M: May 9, 2023

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