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Scared Shitless
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Categories: Experiences and daily life; Human nature

Word count/read time: 429 words; 2 minutes

I was preparing lunch at my shop. Something caught the corner of my eye and it immediately sent a shock of deathly fear through my body. I briefly saw its tail and thought it might be a very large possum - maybe those goth capybara are real after all? It was a garter snake.

Snakes are cool. I don't like getting bitten but I won't freak out at the sight of one. In my youth I had a red-tail boa and whatever local snakes I'd catch and keep as pets for a bit.

I wasn't expecting to see one in my shop. It's like reaching into the fridge and grabbing the orange juice, preparing every molecule in your body for OJ because that is what you need at that very moment, critically...and it's milk.

Milk is an enjoyable beverage but the shock was reflexive. See what I'm saying? I was so flustered I had to use a stick to move it outside. The heeby jeebies stayed for a while.

A glass bridge in China is so high from the ground you get a nosebleed. It was designed to appear as though the glass was cracking as you walked across. I heard cracking sounds, too, but don't know if they were added post-production. As one of my friends said, "Don't laugh until you know everyone is OK."

While working in my shop, I saw unexplained movement out of the corner of my eye. My subconscious fully ignited all adrenaline stores and nearly buckled my knees in terror. The cordless drill walked itself to the edge of the worktable and tumbled off.

It was obscured partially so I was glimpsing sections as it ass-over-tea-kettled its way to an inglorious rendezvous with the cement floor. I'm more bothered by being a dumbass for re-letting this re-happen...re-again.

 
It took place in a nanosecond and it was a fear I've never known.
 
Shortly after getting my driver's license I was paralyzed with fear by what I saw in the rear view mirror. It was a light pattern that had no earthly explanation and it was bearing down on me! Full-out body panic set in before I realized it was an unusual lesson in harmonic frequencies.

Everything conspired at this speed and engine RPM to vibrate the mirror. The headlights behind me had jumbled into an ever-changing kaleidoscope of perfect geometric shapes that surely would mesmerize someone tripping out.

It took place in a nanosecond and it was a fear I've never known. Because I thought I was going to be telling the world about the time aliens abducted me. Just no weird experiments, please, and give me proof.


Posted by M: May 31, 2021


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