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Blinding Stupidity

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My girlfriend got me a wonderful birthday gift: pliers! These were the expensive ones that I had been looking at - she was listening and went ahead and ordered six of them! It was definitely "over the top."

No local retailer had these in stock anyway. Tools are a personal thing; there was no way to test drive them. I wasn't going to play musical mail order with a constant stream of deliveries and returns to find suitable ones. It became a waiting game until I could handle them.

One problem was apparent immediately. Supposedly these were the latest and greatest design, ergonomic handles, light-spring action, etc. The springs kept popping out, getting in the way, and had little force. This was not acceptable.

I returned the pliers to the manufacturer for warranty. Bummed out that I would have to wait even longer to use my new toys, the company sent me four equivalent replacements au gratis that turned out to be perfect. Plus, they would fix the others. They turned out to be within spec so they sent them back.

No biggie getting the original ones back because the seller was willing to swap them for a more suitable set. Excellent...I will be bathing in totally awesome precision pliers.

Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find the set that I was supposed to exchange. The last time I saw them was on top of my bench in some cardboard boxes. SHIT! I RECYCLED ALL MY CARDBOARD TWO DAYS AGO! That gnawing feeling of throwing away $250 worth of pliers was not pleasant. Karma was ensuring that I only had four pliers after all.

The recycling center still had the dumpster. My stuff was buried in the back so it took a few minutes to move all the stuff from the back of the dumpster to the front. Nothing. I moved everything from the front to the back, looking more diligently as maybe it escaped the first pass. Nothing again. I went inside but the attendants hadn't found anything. I returned to the dumpster and moved everything from back to front and front to back again. It was the most efficiently packed dumpster by the time I left.

This recycling center is a nifty place. People drop off all sorts of things that are still functional but no longer needed. Those items are put in a warehouse for anyone to take, free of charge. Printers, stereos, furniture, household goods, clothing, luggage, and more. I grabbed a few things, the sting of throwing away my pliers only comforted by knowing that someone would get a wonderful gift.

Then I remembered. I had already returned them. They were safe in transit. What a dumbass!

Posted by M: April 14, 2015

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