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Not So Believable
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Categories: Humor and sarcasm; Human nature

Word count/read time: 415 words; 2 minutes

There are whoppers and there are WHOPPERS! I'm not talking about America's almost-favorite cheeseburger but you'd have to be as dumb as cooked meat to believe any of the following stories.

My ex-landlord destroyed my property while doing illegal work. Opened up sewer pipes and heating pipes in the ceiling so it showered upon my belongings. The workers proceeded to track the sludge throughout the 4500 sq. ft, unit. He refused to provide information so I could file a claim. When I started to withhold rent and got the fire department and building inspector involved, he acquiesced.

His insurance company replied with, "This is not our responsibility but we'll offer you $500 (on a $5000+ claim) to make it go away." Since when does an insurance company offer money if it "isn't their responsibility?"

The Attorney General of South Dakota "allegedly" killed a man with his car under very dubious circumstances. The victim came through the windshield and left his glasses on the front seat! He basically had to step over the man's body while searching for "what he hit."

He adamantly claimed he did not know it was a person. Given who he is, his preposterous story, blatant ignorance, and arrogance for refusing to step down make him a prime gas chamber candidate. Do we really need people like that driving cars, living on this planet, never mind holding the highest law enforcement position in the state?! No jail time, slap on the wrist fine of course. The world is too small to tolerate this.

The world is too small to tolerate this.
Or the websites that say they value your privacy, that your personal data is secure. Or a "temporary" tax the government will give up money just because they said so? Temporary tax increase? As if. We've been conditioned to accept the fraud that politicians represent.

When money is at stake a company's byline is suspect. Big tobacco's denial campaign. Big oil (recent lawsuits will do little). Dolphin-friendly tuna? Big agri and food with pesticides, additives, and the like destroying the sanctity of our food and ecosystem. We believe it because the truth is too brutal.

Big pharma controls the narrative regarding covid confirmed by the insane number of new billionaires. If the vaccines actually prevented infection or transmission, it'd still be unethical. Their self-funded anti-depressant studies showed most data was fudged or withheld and the remainder was highly skewed. That's no surprise since they get drugs fast-tracked that are never tested properly to prove their efficacy...except to make money. We are fed lies due to their greediness; their lobbyists ensure they have no accountability.

All of those lies are about as believable as going into a brothel to be greeted by the 70-year old star celebrating her 50th year with more than 60,000 satisfied customers...who proceeds to tell you she is still a virgin. Is her name Mary and is she pregnant with the next Jesus? Whatever.

This chicanery is ubiquitous with chainmaille and jewelry but it's pennies people squander their ethics on, not billions. Whenever I see handmade, 99% of the time it is a lie (and fraud, since it is a legally defined word). Same with "I value quality and only use the best materials." Does that include pinch- or shear-cut rings or poor closures? Honesty is as foreign as a woman in a thong bikini in Afghanistan.

Reminds me of one of the funniest videos along this line, The Most Interesting Man in the World. Just sayin', not so believable.

Posted by M: July 26, 2022

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